A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
