In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
