Whod you bang
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
