I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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