just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
