No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
