ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
