i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
