so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
