you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
