After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
