You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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