She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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