Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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