Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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