I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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