Your face is a jimmy john
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
