hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
