I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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