Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize