I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
