My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
