Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
