C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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