why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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