Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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