Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize