There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
