When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Randomize
