It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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