do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
