Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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