Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
