If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
