Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
