Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
