we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
