Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I smell like Dick and happiness
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
