he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He? As in you personified your dick?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
