I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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