I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
