i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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