I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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