i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
