people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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