My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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