i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
