I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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