butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
