We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Your penis caused this!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
