and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Randomize
