No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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