Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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