I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
