a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
