is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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