the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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