You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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