I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
