I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
