I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
