Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
