i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
