shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
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