Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
