I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
